After defeating the DVLA Time Lord, Tunde thought he had finally earned rest.
But rest is illegal in the UK.
Because deep beneath the streets of London, inside a boiler room powered by tears and broken thermostats, lived a monstrous being:
The Energy Bill Demon.
This demon controlled electricity prices, gas bills, standing charges, and the emotional stability of every immigrant during winter.
And today… he wanted Tunde.
Chapter 1: The Bill That Made Tunde Scream
One frosty morning, Tunde opened his email.
He saw a message from his energy provider.
Subject: Your New Monthly Bill
He clicked it.
The bill said:
“£389.27”
Tunde screamed so loudly that the magical bus stalled on the motorway.
He shouted, “Is it me they want to use to balance the national grid?!”
The magical bus whispered, “You have awakened… the Energy Bill Demon.”
Tunde fainted.
Chapter 2: The Demon Emerges
That night, as Tunde tried to sleep, the lights flickered.
His heater turned on by itself. His smart meter began laughing. His electricity bill printed itself from thin air.
Suddenly, a giant creature made of smoke, sparks, and overdue invoices appeared.
“I am the Energy Bill Demon,” it roared. “Every time you boil water, I grow stronger.”
Tunde trembled.
“I only boiled water for tea!”
The demon laughed.
“In this kingdom, tea is expensive.”
Chapter 3: The Smart Meter of Doom
The next day, Tunde checked his smart meter.
It displayed:
“£5.20 used today.”
He blinked.
“But I haven’t even turned anything on!”
The meter beeped.
“You breathed. Breathing costs money.”
Tunde shouted, “This country is wicked!”
Chapter 4: The Pub Wizard’s Energy Advice
Tunde ran to The Drunken Unicorn.
“Sir Nigel, the Energy Bill Demon wants to finish me!”
The Pub Wizard nodded.
“He is the most powerful creature in the kingdom. Even the Landlord Dragon fears him.”
Tunde trembled.
“What do I do?”
The wizard handed him three magical items:
The Sacred Blanket of Warmth
The Candle of Emergency Heating
The Thermostat of Discipline (Set to 17°C)
“Use these wisely,” the wizard said. “Or your bank account will perish.”
Chapter 5: The Battle of the Thermostat
Tunde returned home.
The Energy Bill Demon appeared instantly.
“You dare challenge me?” it growled.
Tunde raised the Thermostat of Discipline.
“I will not be defeated!”
He turned the thermostat down by one degree.
The demon shrieked.
“No! Not energy saving! Not… responsible heating!”
Tunde wrapped himself in the Sacred Blanket.
The demon weakened.
He lit the Candle of Emergency Heating.
The demon screamed.
“Stop! Stop! You are too powerful!”
With one final push, Tunde unplugged his air fryer.
The demon exploded into a cloud of standing charges.
Tunde had won.
Chapter 6: The Bill of Victory
Weeks later, Tunde received a new bill.
It read:
“£112.04”
Still painful. Still wicked. But survivable.
Tunde danced. The magical bus honked. The Pub Wizard fainted (again). Even the HMRC Tax Troll clapped.
Tunde became known as:
Tunde the Energy Saver. Tunde the Warm. Tunde, Slayer of the Energy Bill Demon.
But the kingdom whispered of a new threat…
A creature more chaotic than energy bills. More unpredictable than DVLA. More stressful than the Home Office.
A creature known only as…
THE SUPERMARKET INFLATION GIANT.
To be continued.
