After defeating the TV Licence Enforcer, Tunde thought he had finally earned peace.
But peace is illegal in the UK.
Because deep inside a cave made of shredded payslips and abandoned P45 forms lived a short, angry, unpredictable monster:
The HMRC Tax Troll.
This troll controlled tax codes, refunds, penalties, and the emotional stability of every worker in the kingdom.
And today… he wanted Tunde.
Chapter 1: The Mysterious Tax Code
One morning, Tunde checked his payslip.
His tax code had changed from 1257L to BR, then to 0T, then to something that looked like a WiFi password.
Tunde screamed.
“What does this even mean?!”
The magical bus sighed.
“It means the HMRC Tax Troll has taken an interest in you.”
Tunde fainted.
Chapter 2: The Troll Emerges
That night, as Tunde tried to sleep, he heard heavy footsteps.
THUD. THUD. THUD.
His wardrobe door burst open.
Out waddled a short, round creature with a calculator in one hand and a mug that said “Taxation Is My Love Language.”
“I am the HMRC Tax Troll,” it growled. “And according to my calculations… you owe us money.”
Tunde sat up. “But I paid everything!”
The troll shrugged.
“I don’t care. Pay again.”
Chapter 3: The Confusing Letter
The next day, Tunde received a letter from HMRC.
It read:
“You are due a refund of £2, but you also owe £600. We will refund you after you pay. Or pay you after you refund. We’re not sure.”
Tunde shouted, “This is madness!”
The troll appeared behind him.
“Welcome to British taxation.”
Chapter 4: The Pub Wizard’s Tax Advice
Tunde ran to The Drunken Unicorn.
“Sir Nigel, the Tax Troll wants to finish me!”
The Pub Wizard nodded gravely.
“He is the most chaotic creature in the kingdom. Even the Home Office Sorcerer avoids him.”
Tunde trembled. “What do I do?”
The wizard handed him a glowing scroll.
“This is the Sacred P60. It is your shield.”
Then he handed him another scroll.
“And this is the P45 of Destiny. Use it only in emergencies.”
Tunde bowed. “I will not fail.”
Chapter 5: The Battle of the Tax Return
Tunde confronted the troll.
“I have my P60. I have my payslips. I have my P45. I am ready.”
The troll hissed.
“Then complete… THE SELF-ASSESSMENT.”
Tunde gasped.
“No… not that. Anything but that.”
The troll cackled.
“You must answer questions that do not apply to you. You must declare income you never earned. You must guess numbers you do not understand.”
Tunde fought bravely.
He clicked boxes. He uploaded documents. He prayed. He cried. He drank Milo for strength.
Finally, he submitted the form.
The troll shrieked.
“No! Not accurate information! Not… correct tax calculations!”
He exploded into a cloud of outdated tax codes.
Tunde had won.
Chapter 6: The Refund of Glory
Weeks later, Tunde received a message:
“Your tax refund of £1.72 has been approved.”
Tunde danced. The magical bus honked. The Pub Wizard fainted again. Even the Landlord Dragon clapped (before sending a rent increase).
Tunde became known as:
Tunde the Tax Tamer. Tunde the Accurate. Tunde, Slayer of the HMRC Troll.
But the kingdom whispered of a new threat…
A creature more chaotic than HMRC. More unpredictable than the Home Office. More stressful than council tax.
A creature known only as…
THE DVLA TIME LORD.
To be continued.
PART 6: Tunde vs. The DVLA Time Lord
