After defeating the Home Office Sorcerer, Tunde believed he had finally earned rest.
He was wrong. Again.
Because one rainy afternoon, as he was peacefully eating eba and okra soup, he heard a knock on the door.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
He opened it slowly.
Standing there was a tall, shadowy figure wearing a trench coat made entirely of unpaid TV licence letters. His eyes glowed like a malfunctioning streetlamp, and he carried a clipboard that hummed with dark energy.
“I am the TV Licence Enforcer,” he growled. “Have you… been watching live television?”
Tunde froze.
He hadn’t even turned on his TV in weeks. He only watched Netflix, YouTube, and the occasional Nollywood movie on his phone.
But the Enforcer didn’t care.
He leaned in dramatically.
“Even if you think about BBC One… you must pay.”
Tunde whispered, “This country is wicked.”
Chapter 1: The Letters That Never Stop
The next morning, Tunde checked his mailbox.
Inside were:
- One TV licence letter
- Another TV licence letter
- A third TV licence letter
- A fourth letter threatening “possible investigation”
- A fifth letter reminding him of the previous four letters
Tunde screamed.
“Why are they sending me letters every day? I don’t even have time to watch TV!”
The magical bus honked sympathetically.
“They do not care,” the bus said. “They will send letters until the end of time.”
Chapter 2: The Investigation Begins
One evening, Tunde saw a shadow outside his window.
A figure crouched behind the bushes, holding binoculars.
It was the TV Licence Enforcer.
He whispered into a walkie‑talkie:
“Target is inside. Curtains are open. Possible TV activity.”
Tunde shouted through the window:
“I’m only microwaving jollof!”
The Enforcer scribbled something on his clipboard.
“Suspicious behaviour,” he muttered.
Chapter 3: The Pub Wizard Intervenes
Tunde ran to The Drunken Unicorn.
“Sir Nigel, the TV Licence Enforcer wants to finish me!”
The Pub Wizard sighed.
“He is the most persistent creature in the kingdom. Even dragons fear him.”
Tunde trembled. “What do I do?”
The wizard handed him a glowing scroll.
“This is the Declaration of No Live TV. Sign it, and you shall be protected.”
Tunde signed it immediately.
Chapter 4: The Final Showdown
The next day, the Enforcer returned.
“I have come to inspect your property,” he announced.
Tunde stood tall.
“You cannot enter without a warrant.”
The Enforcer hissed.
“You think you can defeat me with… knowledge?”
Tunde raised the glowing scroll.
“I do not watch live TV. I do not watch BBC iPlayer. I only watch Netflix and mind my business.”
The Enforcer shrieked.
“No! Not Netflix! Not… legal compliance!”
He melted into a puddle of expired reminder letters.
Tunde had won again.
Chapter 5: Peace at Last (Until Part 5)
The kingdom rejoiced.
The magical bus honked proudly. The Pub Wizard toasted with discounted ale. Even the Overtime Goblin danced azonto.
Tunde became known as:
Tunde the Licence Slayer. Tunde the Knowledgeable. Tunde, Defender of Netflix Users.
But little did he know…
A new threat was rising.
A creature more confusing than the Home Office. More expensive than the Landlord Dragon. More stressful than the TV Licence Enforcer.
A creature known only as…
THE HMRC TAX TROLL.
To be continued.
PART 5: Tunde vs. The HMRC Tax Troll
