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When Jackline Mwende sought advice on her bad marriage, she was given the
same counsel many women in abusive relationships get: stay
and fight for your marriage. The first pastor she went to for advice told her to stay and pray for her marriage.
same counsel many women in abusive relationships get: stay
and fight for your marriage. The first pastor she went to for advice told her to stay and pray for her marriage.
Long before Ms Mwende’s hands were hacked off by her husband,
Stephen Ngila, 34, for not conceiving, their seven-year marriage had
been plagued with constant fights that stemmed from not having a child.
Stephen Ngila, 34, for not conceiving, their seven-year marriage had
been plagued with constant fights that stemmed from not having a child.
A
hospital in Nairobi told the couple that Ms Mwende was fertile and
healthy but her husband had reproductive “issues”. However, she believed
in her
marriage and had been advised by another pastor and some of her friends
to stay and try to save it.
hospital in Nairobi told the couple that Ms Mwende was fertile and
healthy but her husband had reproductive “issues”. However, she believed
in her
marriage and had been advised by another pastor and some of her friends
to stay and try to save it.
Pastor Patrick Kioko of Masii District SDA church, who was the couple’s best man on Monday told Nation
Kenya that the marriage between Ms Mwende and Mr Ngila had been rosy at the
beginning but things started changing towards the end of last year.
Kenya that the marriage between Ms Mwende and Mr Ngila had been rosy at the
beginning but things started changing towards the end of last year.
“It seemed
there was hope for reconciliation but the man was not ready to mend the
union. In fact, he even moved out and rented a room in Masii town.”
there was hope for reconciliation but the man was not ready to mend the
union. In fact, he even moved out and rented a room in Masii town.”
He said Mwende was afraid “to be seen as the one who broke her marriage”.
This was escalated to a church hearing because the issues seemed
unresolved and the couple was urged to settle their differences and save
their marriage.
unresolved and the couple was urged to settle their differences and save
their marriage.
“But we noticed the man was determined to leave.
So it was agreed that they live in peace in their separate homes and ask
the courts to dissolve the marriage. Because, as a church, we donโt end
marriages.”
So it was agreed that they live in peace in their separate homes and ask
the courts to dissolve the marriage. Because, as a church, we donโt end
marriages.”
He said the church was planning to bring them together but then the attack happened.
“We
were shocked how it turned out even after all the effort we put in.
Anger is dangerous in a union and this is something we all should learn
from.”
were shocked how it turned out even after all the effort we put in.
Anger is dangerous in a union and this is something we all should learn
from.”
Ms Mwende met Mr Ngila, a tailor, shortly after finishing Standard Eight in Kathama
Primary School, Machakos County, in 2010, and she says it was love at
first sight. She described her husband as a “kind and God-fearing” man.
Primary School, Machakos County, in 2010, and she says it was love at
first sight. She described her husband as a “kind and God-fearing” man.
“He taught me how to make dresses and clothes. We fell in love during
this time and we had a church wedding three months later,” she said. “But he gradually became violent and a drunk. He spent
more time in Masii town and would come back late at night, drunk and
violent. He also chewed miraa. When he attacked me on Sunday, he was
drunk. But I stayed because I wanted to save the marriage and my home.”
this time and we had a church wedding three months later,” she said. “But he gradually became violent and a drunk. He spent
more time in Masii town and would come back late at night, drunk and
violent. He also chewed miraa. When he attacked me on Sunday, he was
drunk. But I stayed because I wanted to save the marriage and my home.”
Tears welled up in her motherโs eyes on hearing her daughterโs determination to save her marriage.
“I pleaded with her to pack her things and leave their home in Ilinge
village because of the constant quarrels, but she said he would change.
Then this happened,โ Ms Jane Munyoki, the mother, lamented. “I gave him my daughter, who was
complete and well, and now she does not have hands. I hope the
government does not release him. I am afraid that if he is let go, I
will die of depression.”
village because of the constant quarrels, but she said he would change.
Then this happened,โ Ms Jane Munyoki, the mother, lamented. “I gave him my daughter, who was
complete and well, and now she does not have hands. I hope the
government does not release him. I am afraid that if he is let go, I
will die of depression.”
Meanwhile,
Stephen Ngila has been charged with attempted murder of his wife. He
appeared before Wamunyu Law Court Resident Magistrate K. Kibellion. He
denied the charges and was sent to the Machakos GK remand until August
5. He was also denied bond until the same date when the court will rule
on the issue.
Stephen Ngila has been charged with attempted murder of his wife. He
appeared before Wamunyu Law Court Resident Magistrate K. Kibellion. He
denied the charges and was sent to the Machakos GK remand until August
5. He was also denied bond until the same date when the court will rule
on the issue.
Source: The Nation Kenya
