Girlfriends are not the fragile creatures that lots of movies and magazines will lead you to imagine. However, there are some phrases that will set them off, even if the sentiment behind them is pure. Here are some to avoid if you want to keep your lady smiling:
1. I THINK YOUR BUTT GOT BIGGER
Though you may appreciate a full behind, your girlfriend will interpret this as you calling her fat.
2. FINE
Whether this is your answer to โHow do I look in this dress?โ or โHow about we go to [insert restaurant name] for dinner?โ, it will disappoint your girlfriend. Show some enthusiasm.
3. YEAH YOUR MOM REALLY IS A BITCH
Youโre probably saying this in agreement with a complaint your girlfriend just made about her mom, but remember: only she can insult her own parents. You do not have the right just by virtue dating her, no matter how much her parents may annoy you.
44. AMY’S BEEN LOOKING REALLY GOOD RECENTLY
Janet may be a recovering anorexic, but this comment (that you thought was kind) will be interpreted as: โI think Janet is prettier than you these days.โ
5. WHATEVER
Similar to fine, this response to a girlfriendโs comments will leave her feeling personally affronted by your indifference.
6. WHY DO YOU BOTHER PUTTING ON MAKEUP ALL THE TIME? YOU LOOK THE SAME WITHOUT IT
She obviously doesnโt think so, so donโt even go there. If you feel the urge to say something like this, flip it around so it becomes a compliment, like, โYouโre so beautiful without makeup that you donโt even have to wear itโฆunlike all of those other hideous women walking around in mascara.โ
7. HOW MUCH DID THAT SHIRT COST?
You donโt want to know, and sheโll get defensive if you ask.
8. DIDN’T YOU ALREADY EAT DINNER TODAY?
Even if she chows down on a late night burger with you after coming home from a meal with her friends, you drawing attention to her second dinner will, again, come off as a fat accusation. Of course, you didnโt mean it that way, but thatโs totally irrelevant.
9. MAKE ME A SANDWICH
This is not the 1950s. Commands like that do not fly. At least add a โcould you pleaseโ to the beginning of the sentence if sheโs poised over bread with a knife in the kitchen already.
10. BELLA ALWAYS USED TO DO THIS….
If Bella is your ex-girlfriend, donโt you dare compare her actions to those of your current ladyfriend, especially if itโs concerning something that takes place in the bedroom.
11. I DON’T KNOW HOW; MY MOM ALWAYS USED TO DO THAT FOR ME
Whether this pertains to laundry or cooking, this will make you look way too pathetic and co-dependent for any adult woman to deal with.
12. WHAT’S YOUR BEST FRIEND’S NAME AGAIN?
If youโve been dating for over a week, sheโs mentioned this approximately a thousand times already. You should have been paying attention.
13. YOU WOUNLDN’T UNDERSTAND
Because sheโs a woman? Because she doesnโt understand the depths of your soul? Regardless of your reasons, this statement will offend her.
14. PLEASE STOP SINGING
To her, this means: โYou have a bad singing voice, and I cannot stand to hear the nails-on-chalkboard-like sound emanating from your throat.โ Not very kind.
15. NO
Okay, youโve got to say โnoโ to her sometimes, but as long as sheโs a fairly reasonable human, you can try and accommodate her (or at least phrase your negative answers more gently).
